@AIMOAIMO333
I'm not a green or red flag, I'm a black flag, give me yer gold
@izerautenbach2648
I knew the realationship was over when I talked about a subject I was extremely interested about and he said "Are you done now?"
@pealcrusher3166
Communication isn't just crucial, communication literally IS the relationship!
@nucleus691
"Lets see what kinda qualities I should avoid in *other people*" Oh.
@zaq9339
Most of the video sounds like reasonable advice but one thing I really liked is the reminder that if we're having to guess for too long if someone likes us back and search for those signs, it's likely a no. Something I need to remember these days. Thanks!
@Zeptembir
We can never escape Active Listening it seems
@emilianotonizzo
“Choose who chooses you” is really good advice thank you :)
@eveofthewood
I always find something small to say "no" to. No, I'm not free Friday night. No, I can't help you with XYZ. No, I won't send you a pic right now. The way a person responds to not getting their way tells you SO MUCH. If they accept it gracefully, green flag. If they pitch a fit and try to coerce you into compliance, red flag.
@ThatRandomGu7
5:34 I have a friend who is like this. Not in a relationship or anything, but shes an active listener and shows she cares. I wasnt nececcarily "taught" how to actively listen, but I did pick it up because of her, and i feel like we are good friends because of it :)
@TheSoggiSocks
I get how people prefer to talk but bro listening is so cool. Once you start listening more than talking you really start to realize like wow theres so much more to these people than I really thought. And it just feels really nice someone confidently telling me about their day, or certain issues theyre having, or just anything in general. Also you honestly do start to get better at talking. I can't recommend enough getting more into listening, though I know not everyone likes to, and some people have more of a talkative than listening personality.
@ShadowRealm6861
Hm, the timing on this one is a little scary. Just got a girlfriend and I thought everything would be great. But she doesn't really talk to me and leaves me on read sometimes. It's been a real mental battle for me. Edit: Me and her had a conversation about this and she didn’t realize that she was making me upset. She has now changed and talks to me way more. Our relationship is going great and I really appreciate all of you guys advice. I hope all of you are able to find happy and loving partners because you do deserve it and you are worth something
@Deadeadeaddead
"Choose someone who chooses you." Thanks. I needed that reminder. I've been through this so many times before, and yet, I always think the problem was that I just expect too much. People give and reciprocate love and affiction differently, and that doesn't make them a bad person. I actually just had an experience with a person I knew for so long. They were a friend of mine that I went to school with. I frankly just don't understand why everything changed. I eventually realized that I needed someone who would make me feel wanted around them. It's not like they never did. They had the potential to be very kind and affirming. They just kinda stopped doing that gradually, it honestly broke my heart. It felt like they were just keeping me around because I gave them attention. Nothing else. Friendship breakups really hurt more sometimes. So much wasted potential. Just one day, they stopped choosing me. I'll never get it.
@haleighsowards8541
Excessive and/or early gift giving has become a heavy red flag for me. I actually used to be one of these people because I got excited over giving my friends/SO gifts that matched their interests. However, especially in dating relationships, as the receiver of this I didn’t realize just how exhausting, guilt-inducing, and sometimes creepy it can be. If you just met someone you shouldn’t be buying or making them a bunch of gifts (big OR small) because even if you say “oh I just like giving gifts, you don’t need to give me anything back in return!” There is always a silent obligation behind it. If I end up not liking them, now I’m the villain because how could I turn down someone who spent their money on me or crafted me so many things? I don’t like people for their gifts, I’m looking for personality- the thing that holds a relationship together along with from communication. If gifts are what you believe is going to start, save, or continue a relationship, you’re not only manipulating and guilt tripping them into staying with you but you just aren’t a match for them either. If you are confident they like you back, gifts or not, I’d hold off still until maybe a few months in and even then don’t go over board or else it will become the new expectation and will exhaust you over time.
@vdd1001
Bonus tip is something everyone should keep in mind. If you're putting in a lot of effort and getting nothing back, sit back and think to yourself "why am I trying so hard with this person? Are they reciprocating their energy at all?" If it's a girl you like and she doesn't seem to care, move on, it'll be better for you. If it's an old friend you'd like to keep seeing but you're always the one making plans and they give excuses, straight up tell them that you feel like they don't care, their reaction will let you gauge if you should keep trying or disengage and focus on something better
@DvrDvrs0n
She told me literally on our first date she "does what she wants only", and then when after 4 months when she got randomly bored of our commited relationship i had the audacity to be mad at her for not trying to work on our issues. She literally went from declaring her willingness to get engaged to no contact in around 8 hours. Is she an evil maneater? Yeah Did I deserve the apocalyptic heartbreak and should have known better? Yeah
@engkropix0558
i haven't dated that much, however i've logically came upon the idea that as long as both sides are compatible, communicates their needs, listens and is willing to improve both themselves and the state of their relationship, any relationship is going to work while otherwise it simply won't. that holds true for friendships, too. but once again and i can't stress that enough, BOTH sides need to check those boxes
@aviekrause657
I dated someone who was a really great human. I loved him so much and planned on marrying him one day. But as time went on I wondered why I hated myself so much when I was with them. I knew he loved me so much, but I felt like I had to chase his love. I eventually figured out he genuinely didn’t know how to be a listener. Wonderful and kind human, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I feel crazy for leaving someone I loved, but this video helped me feel like my pain was real and I made the right decision. Thank you.
@pedwipie
One of the most important things in a sustainable relationship is conflict resolution. Unresolved conflicts accumulate till they destroy the relationship. Healthy partners talk through conflicts to find compromises/understanding.
@diogoalmeida4115
Ok be careful. On first dates sometimes people are nervous and ways to cope with that can be becoming more silent and listener (me) or become a very talking person (some dates I had). U have to acknowledge that they are nervous and if they are talking to much CAN be because of that.
@brinyheart1