This... Is a good video. As an autistic person... I feel like I've been living in a constant period of autistic burnout. My family is aware that I am autistic, but they do not know any of the problems or troubles that come with it. Hell... I myself don't know. I want to understand myself, at least.
I think Autistic Burnout is part of what I've been going through before the new meds kicked in. It explains so much about why THIS TIME the pain CRUSHED me. Trying to do things I loved felt do pointless. I had just shut down because everything had become too much. I couldn't motivate myself to clean... I forced myself to do the bare minimum, not for myself but for my husband. I lost the ability to feel anything but pain and frustration. I shut down. I ignored my husband's feelings... I lashed out at the man I loved and drove him away.
Thank you for explaining it in detail. My autistic child is going through a burnout at the moment he isn’t eating or sleeping properly and is going through EBSA . Because he isn’t sleeping I can’t sleep because I have to watch him .
My God, this hit like a freight train. Found this thinking I might be in burnout or shutdown, and it's apparent I've been in it most of my life. My only real function was my job (when I was able to work). I've also always chosen jobs with minimized (not minimal) contact with the public. And I was masking heavily to get through it.
My brother told me he was autistic when he was in his 40s. I thought his behavior was normal. He was a drummer, and was good at socializing, but rarely did because he was drumming. He was also a total workaholic, like my dad. But he was quiet a lot. Fortunately my family was very accepting of our all 3 of we children's behaviors. I was very quiet and introverted, and read most of the time. My sister was gregarious. I have had 7 or 8 close friends in my life, but since we moved every year or so, none of them were for very long. I accepted being lonely early in my childhood. I'm almost 70.
The worst part about being burned out is when I finally try to self advocate and share what would help me destress, people get mad at me like I’m a burden.
I'm 25, autistic, and choose to carry a lot of emotional burdens for people. I've been doing well (at least in my view) at handling the stresses and the unexpected turns that go along with life. However, I mask my autism to where I bottle up my own personal feelings to better be able to help my friends and family through tough times in a stoic manner. In those situations, my masking helps get the job done, though I tend to neglect the impact it has on me when I do have time to reflect and process what had all happened. So, in saying that, here's my question: what are some ways you recognize when you are about to burnout? For me, it can happen all of a sudden when I'm caught in the momentum of life events and it can really have an impact on how I socialize and take care of myself.
just found out i'm autistic after all, and autistic burnout explains everything i've been feeling for the past 4 months. feels very good to finally know what's going on, even if it doesn't provide any immediate relief
Thank you so much for this explanation. I have a 3 year old autistic daughter. She is a high masker already and I feel like she is going through an autistic burnout out. I struggle to help her.
I decided to not mask anymore when I turned 26 the February 20th. It's been a bumpy ride since then. People say that I've changed. And they look scared when I explain what masking is. People believe that I'm drunk/on drugs, depressed or have gone completely insane. They have asked me upfront. I feel happier and don't crash just as often. Only masking when I really have to. Like a business meeting or if I'm talking to a client.
After my 4th time in my life taking a year off after forcing myself through school or jobs i hated, I realize I cannot force my self to do things for long. I end just doing whatever I want, gaming, dating, pondering on things, etc. I feel like this is a natural response and down time where you are bored with nothing directly to do is a necessity in natural life. There is so much creativity and freedom that come from it. Plus you get so much peace. I highly encourage everyone to save money intensely. Cut costs everywhere you can and take time off either through LOA on a job or just not working for a while. Its been very meaningful in my life.
My son used to tell me "I need time to myself because I am all peopled out" (he was 6 years old)
I came back from an extremely heavy, exhausting, and social intensive emergency family trip (my uncle had passed) and I just couldn't not even just speak, I couldn't write to anyone, I couldn't deal with the thought of messaging anyone or doing anything that involved any sort of brain power much less communicating in any way. I didn't eat, I just changed, closed off my room to sounds and light, and fell in bed, and watched videos mindlessly, in very low volume and no brightness, barely even taking them in and not even playing games along, or checking anything else on the computer at the same time, like I usually do. I stayed in zombie mode until night time, and I only felt a little bit like myself again the next day. It was one of the most intense of those experiences for me.
For me it's like when you have a stamina bar in a game and you keep trying to run but not allowing your stamina to regenerate so all you can do is short bursts of speed and all that happens is that you don't get anywhere and just rage quit.
I am currently in a horrible burnout. I was already going down badly but then I caught Covid in early Jan. and I'm not recovering very fast at all. I also suffer from adrenal fatigue but when my life is in balance, I don't feel the Aspergers or the adrenal fatigue. Last year pushed me to the limit. One good or negative crisis stacked on top of the other and I was required to juggle many details and tasks all day long. By May, I knew I was in bad shape but I had to keep going and pushing until my son's wedding in mid-December. Once the New Year came, things calmed down but that's when the Covid hit. The weakness I have experienced is downright frightening. It feels that if I would just let go, I would die. It's very bad. My husband keeps telling me to "hang on" as he also has Aspergers and so does my son. We understand each other but honestly, not one thing helps when you get this bad. Resting feels horrible because you can feel how weak you are and moving feels horrible because it keeps reminding you of how weak you are. I have been through this about 5 or 6 times in my lifetime and every time it happens, it takes me many months to get to where I can function more normally. It complicates it that I need to work at my family business but I can't, which means no income and my customers breathing down my neck. I am an educator and performer and a church worship leader. I can't do any of it right now and I can see by the small efforts I make to try to function, it only sends me back to square one right now. For the brain, the best thing that I have found to help is to take periods of the day and just be in silence. If I am strong enough to get there, I go out into my garden and just sit and listen and look. I can't handle any information at these times and making decisions is impossible. What I'm saying is that the burnout is not only mental but very physical for me. It's truly, truly horrible - scary. It feels like its never going to end. The depression of not being able to do anything or think through anything creates a darkness that feels like it consumes me. I can't relate to people at all. I just have to let the crash happen and it is only my faith in God that helps me survive these times. You are very right in saying the path to burnout is not taking care of ourselves and doing the things we need to do to self regulate. I had no time this past year to do that. Everyone needed me and I had so many things I wanted to accomplish for my son's wedding and most of them did not happen because of the pile on of duties. It broke my heart that I wasn't able to get them all done and it did, in fact, make his wedding much less than it should have been. I had to let it all go and just accept the situation. The difficult part is, just like you said, you can't even do the simple things you love to do that would help your brain to heal. For me that would be sewing, crochet, or gardening. I am soo weak right now and from what I am experiencing with the efforts I make, it's going to be months maybe before I can do those things again. It is a very scary place to be. I'm writing this to help others who might only be experiencing this for the first time who don't realize just how bad it can be. The best advice is to find ways to take the times out you need before it goes over the edge. I so badly wish I could have done that. As I'm getting older, I have no doubt that one of these times I won't make it through. This has made me realize that I'm going to have to make some big decisions about my life that are going to be difficult. Big changes coming. I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for this video. I meant to add that last year, after many years of weeding out toxic people from my life, I had to embrace someone who came into my life who is very toxic. I knew mostly it would be a for a time but it had to be done for personal reasons. I have no doubt that dealing with this person and all the havoc they created was the tipping point for me. I HIGHLY recommend to any person on the spectrum to do your best to weed out the toxic people and situations out of your life. It could be detrimental to an upcoming burnout you really don't want to have.
This could explain why i had really bad attendance at school. Everyday was an uphill battle with my social anxiety but at this point, i rarely feel anything. My special interests still make me happy, but i always feel like there's something missing when i engage with those activities. Like a part of me died a long time ago, and i never noticed.
Figuring out and accepting that I'm autistic is a relatively new thing for me and my family. When I was in my early 20s, I was working retail, going to school, and heavily involved with my church. Then I got hit with a whole bunch of new stressors in my life, lost my job, had to quit school, and got very sick. I went into a deep and prolonged burnout and completely stopped masking. I had to figure out and start expressing my needs, such as breaks from noisy environments, even though I didn't know why I needed it. Because of all this, I lost all of my friends, but what hurt the most was my aunt saying that she didn't know who I was anymore and stopped inviting me to family functions. I didn't talk to my dad's side of my family for years. My mom has been my rock through ALL of it. She is my voice when mine doesn't work.
I haven’t been diagnosed with autism or adhd, but your, and others’ videos have made my entire life make more sense. I’ve had this happen at multiple jobs, and I try to put in my notice, but my boss refuses to accept it, and I get talked out of it. Then when nothing changed, I just walked out, and refused to talk to anyone. My current experience has lasted about 2.5 years, and doctors/therapists just treat me for depression, anxiety, general autoimmune issues and neuropathy, but I know that’s not all that is going on. But when I bring it up to them, it seems to get ignored, so I don’t know what to do. It seems as I get older it’s taking me longer and longer to recover and more difficult to mask for long periods of time.
Social gatherings are the biggest triggers for me. I feel mentally and physically drained and just go mute.
@LazyXM